


Cold

by tekowrites



Category: X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 13:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tekowrites/pseuds/tekowrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's one of those nights where they meet to fulfill their roles, and Subaru isn't ready.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold

He’s not sure why the feelings surprise him. At 25 he should know better, no, _does_ know better what the Sakurazukamori means to him, but the tight ball of conflicting emotions sits like lead in the pit of his stomach. He has to clutch at the location of his heart, resist urges that choose odd moments to spark, and chants her name, as if she were a goddess and invoking it would give him, if not strength, purpose. She was always contrary though, Hokuto-chan, and tonight she gives him nothing.

“Cold night to be out Subaru-kun.”

As if Seshirou knew, like he could glimpse so far beyond his own emotional frigidity and see the blizzard waging war inside of Subaru. It’s been a long time since he’s felt warmth of any kind, and whatever lingered to be bestowed on gravestones had been snuffed out with the apocalypse.

He doesn’t need to call them forth, _ofuda_ almost blooms between the thin, pale digits. A childhood of gloves is unforgiving, and they refuse to look healthy, they too, are a reminder of death. He flings them, waits for them to be deflected, for a _maboroshi_ to be cast. They’ll dance again on the graves of humanity and earth, get tired, and one of them will leave. Seishirou approached him tonight, and he’ll wait for him to grow bored, whatever single digit he can stomach. One minute, one hour, one day. One year is no longer an option, Subaru’s already far too broken to hold up the façade for longer than these little theatrical performances they put on every once in a while. There’s an ache that sands away what shell has swallowed his heart, and to stay longer is to invite a disaster upon it.

Except, Seishirou must know, because he avoids the _ofuda_ , but casts none of his own. He leaps across buildings, and then stays still until the next attack careens his way. He allows himself to be cut, and Subaru is filled with abject horror, with the all too real thoughts of _today? It’s still too soon, it’s not a year yet, not like this._ He’ll bank on instinct, the tree will protect its own, he chants, but it’s chopped, it’s breathless, it’s fake.

The finger that stops the charade is warm against his lips, but doesn’t heal their tremble. Fear knots in his stomach and all too soon his body is alive, the skin tingles, the backs of his hands burn in a familiar pattern and he _chokes_ , doesn’t want it to be either or. Time, that's all he's ever asked for.

“Let’s get you warmed up. Shall we, Subaru-kun?”

The next time it happens, he’s warmed through with blood, and yet, so completely frozen inside, that it never registers.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never published an X/Tokyo Babylon fic, because I always found myself lacking in the face of the amazing body of work that came out of both fandoms. This one is merely a practice run, but I liked it enough to think, maybe, just maybe, I'm ready to write for the fandom too.


End file.
